Spiral

I’m in a spiral.

I’m falling.

I’m in a spiral of many things.

Of desperation.

Of madness.

Of kindness.

Of fear.

Mostly fear.

As life.

I cannot say “as death”

‘cause I do not know it

or even remember it.

As I fall

I see many things.

The things I lost.

The things I thought I

loved,  and the ones that

wouldn’t look at me.

I see myself crushed

into the floor.

I see the deaths of

many selves that have never

caught me up.

I see the endless complaint.

I see nothing

I do not see a single

soul, nor god, as it is

my spiral, my fall.

I cannot see what’s not me.

I see myself reflected

in the houses and lives this

chaos forms into each other.

I see nothing.

As I fall, I see things

that I believe them to be,

but not without use, as not

even a single one of them

can stop me from falling.

I cannot grab, hold on to, catch

anything, as I do not

truly believe in their existence.

Or in mine.

I see myself falling.

I see fear.

Mostly fear of nonexistence.

Escrito en julio del 2016