Hate

When I say I can’t hate (or try to), I mean it.

It’s just… what is hate but ignorance brewed by fear?

I do feel disgust, I can disapprove shit. But hate?

I do know that the word means “intense dislike”, but it carries something else: fear, anger, something I can’t quite define.

Someone once said to me: hate implies a desire to destroy, to eliminate that thing, or person.

(it must have been my brother or my mother, I don’t remember)

And then I look at my insides, feel them as I try to hate.

Of course I feel extreme repulsion to somethings, but… do I feel it with every one and the last fiber of my being? No.

All I’m saying is that if I’ve got a choice, I’d like my fears raw for me to handle; besides, ignorance is such a relative and political concept.

Escrito el 7/10/16